‘Save Marriage’ Tagged Posts

Free Marriage Counseling Tips To Save Marriages

These days, more and more people are getting divorced. The reasons why marriages fail are various. But nevertheless there are also proven ways to sa...

 

These days, more and more people are getting divorced. The reasons why marriages fail are various. But nevertheless there are also proven ways to save a marriage. In case your marriage is in trouble and you would like to save it, here is some good advice.

Do not think that divorce and separation are the solutions. There are plenty of other ways.One of the basic things is to visit a marriage counselor. Professional help is your best option. In some cases it may even be necessary to visit a psychologist or psychiatrist. Then, you must exert some efforts in trying to work things out. You and your partner can save your marriage if both of you learn to realize that a perfect marriage does not exist. Every relationship has its own ups and downs.

This is a natural occurrence. In order to save marriage, you have to overcome the threats and keep your relationship intact. In the end all couples aiming to pe perfect will fail miserably. You have to face the fact that everyone makes mistakes. This is why good communication is essential. The reason why so many fail to save their marriage is the fact that they can’t talk to each other about problems and shortcomings. Being honest is also a key. In most cases marital issues can be saved by heart to heart talks.

You also have to be willing to compromise with your partner. Marriage is actually about compromising with each other. Selfishness is a love killer. Keep in mind that you need to give way sometimes and your partner needs to do the same. It is also extremely important to spend time together. Why don’t you go out on a dinner date or watch a movie? If you want to rekindle the old flame, why don’t you start writing love letter to each other? Sometimes, lack of time for each other makes a couple fail to save marriage.

Beside compromises, marriage is also about commitment. once you have signed the marriage contract, there is no way back. Marriage is not like an object that you just throw away when you get tired of it. Marriage is meant to last for a whole life.

Find Out How To Save Your Marriage. Get Proven To Work Tips and Expert Advice. Visit How To Save A Marriage At http://www.marriageaffairs.org

Needing Affection In Marriage

 

One of the men at our seminars came up and said, “My wife gets overly emotional. What’s with her? If I say anything nice to her, she’s all over me. So I don’t say anything nice.”

His wife was standing behind him, listening and bursting with life. She was beautiful to look at and a delightful conversationalist. She agreed that he was telling it like it was. Since she usually had to draw every compliment out of him, though, and it was getting more difficult by the year, she was trying to encourage him when he did do it on his own. As a result, when the poor fellow did venture out a bit, she was so thrilled she virtually attacked!

That was a tough one for us to understand. Our suggestion was that he cut a deal with her: He would make an effort to say nice things to her every day, if she would promise to accept them more quietly and gracefully.

Objectively speaking, her reactions were a lot better than those of some wives with whom we’ve dealt. They are ones who are so turned off that once their men start tiptoeing into the scary territory of trying to meet their ladies’ emotional needs, the women simply shrug or get angry. Even if that happens. though, if Mr. Husband is dogged enough to keep trying and being positive about it, eventually she probably will start to respond.

When a woman is emotionally starved for her man’s attention – and most women are just by virtue of being women – she either gets that attention in a nice way or in time she shrivels up inside and turns off, not only sexually, but as we’re seeing a lot today, she just might walk out of her marriage. She will literally give up on having what she wants and needs.

Isn't it time to Save Your Marriage

Men generally don’t get it, though – and frankly, the women don’t understand what’s behind their unhappiness, either. That’s why we’ve written books and material and are working around the clock. We’re trying, not only to educate men and women about ancient truths that are behind their deepest feelings and reluctance, but to lead them step by step in what they can do to right their marital ship so it sails smoothly.

Marriages of the worst kind can be saved, once these truths are realized and acted upon. We’ve seen it happen hundreds of thousands of times. Our message is different, we assure you, than almost anyone’s out there. Our methods work. You can save your marriage, strengthen your marriage and make your marriage one to be envied if you follow them. There are materials for husbands and material for wives. on our site.

Determine to do what you can to turn your marriage into an exciting, love filled one. Examine the materials that are at this website you’ve tapped into: www.loverelatiomshipheadquarters.com and start clicking away. We have answers. Discover them.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com.

Do you have marriage problems? You are not alone. 100’s of thousands have used our marriage advice. Marriage help is available , and get separate help for women

More Magic Moments

 

Mark became furious when his wife, Mindy, had an affair. “He’s a jerk!” Mark fumed. That “jerk” was doing the things for her that Mark used to do before they were married. Mr. Jerk made Mindy feel beautiful, desirable and loved. Mark was very much in love with his wife. Unfortunately the only time he showed her that side was when he was in the mood for sex. Even then it was nothing much but raw passion. He wasn’t able to save his marriage.

Mindy then went on to marry the “jerk” and was doomed to repeat the same patterns of neglect she had been in with Mark. That doesn’t surprise us here at Love Relationship Headquarters. That’s why we have felt compelled to help people get on a different pathway in their lives.

A woman longs for personal, loving, tender attention from her guy – outside of the bedroom. Of course, she wants that inside the bedroom, too, but if she doesn’t get it “outside,” she doesn’t appreciate what she gets “inside.”

She longs for attention from her guy in other ways, too. Jerilou complained that her husband plopped down in front of the TV the minute he got home for work, insisted that they eat in front of it, and watched it afterward until bedtime. “I hate to say I’m jealous of the boob tube,” she said, “but I feel as if he doesn’t know I’m alive. I resent it.”

Women need to know they count. That they’re more important to their husbands than other things in the men’s world. It does not matter what it is – if something is placed before your women she will feel neglected..

All of the information you need can be found on www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com. Start clicking away and discover some of the most helpful books and materials you’ll ever have at your disposal. We can help you save your marriage. Even if it does not need saving – we can help you make it even better.

Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Looking for marriage advice? You are not alone. 100’s of thousands have used our marriage advice. Saving your marriage is what we do best , and get separate help for women

Wealth And Marriage – Do They Mix?

 

If you want to get a buzz, read about Donald Trump, one of the most fascinating men in history who seems to have a penchant for not caring if he saves a marriage or not. The only marriage he has ever cared about is his marriage to his job. He cares about saving the true loves of his life – building, acquiring things, and accumulating riches. Brilliant in business, he has built a financial empire worth billions despite several bankruptcies.

It’s interesting to us, as marriage and relationship advisers to note that, whereas Trump has been immensely productive in buying and selling hotels, casinos, clubs and almost anything else you can name, he’s been a flop when it comes to producing a lasting marriage with a woman. He has a large number of children of all ages and even has grandchildren so he must be doing something right – at least for a short time.

As we noted, his passion is business and making money – not making wives happy. He knows that his imbalanced passions are an issue: “I just know it’s very hard for them [his ex-wives] to compete because I do love what I do. I really love it.”

Sounds a little like talk show host, Larry King, doesn’t it? King has actually surpassed Donald Trump in numbers of wives. He’s on his 8th marriage that’s shaky at best according to latest reports. There is no evidence of his trying to save any of those marriages (although latest reports say he and his wife have decided to make a go of it). Trump, on the other hand, despite any other liaisons he’s had, is only on his 3rd legal hookup at the marital altar.

So, really, deep down; are these men happy? Well, think about it. Collectively, these two guys have had 9-10 divorces. I don’t think anyone would say that all those breakups were friendly. In fact, if we were bettors, we’d wager that none of them were. Was the money and the power worth all the pain the wives, and possibly the husbands suffered – the anger, hurt, and frustration that resulted because neither one of these men was willing to do what was necessary to save at least one marriage? We don’t think so. Have they hardened their hearts so much that they just don’t care? Even if their wives were the ones who dumped their husbands, the way the men have conducted their lives has begged for trouble.

Men (or women) like Trump and King may seem happy at any given moment (although to look at King’s face, you wonder if he’s ever happy about anything). But if The Donald was truly happy deep down inside, and were at peace with himself and God, why wouldn’t half a dozen successful hotels or casinos be enough? Success and wealth is supposed to offer you more time to enjoy your family and friends – enjoy the toys that wealth brings. That would also leave him time to concentrate on enjoying a loving, close marriage that he would do anything to preserve, and he’d still have some energy left over for a couple more hotels or resorts.

Why would King, who is at the top of his game as a TV talk show host, and given his abominable record as a husband, fool around with his wife’s sister instead of making his present marriage work? Why wouldn’t such men want to be a moral example for their children and grandchildren?

We submit that these guys are not at peace. They are replacing real lasting loving relationships with power and money.

We have no idea what’s in their hearts, but a question in the Bible seems to ring loud and clear: What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul? And, we might ask, what does it profit a man (or woman) if he becomes rich and loses the one he promised to love the rest of his life? We personally think that is too high a price to pay.

Although you aren’t The Donald, or probably don’t have the power and reach of The King, have you found yourself married to something else other than your husband or wife? It could be a job, your friends, sports, gambling or even alcohol that takes you away from your love and your family. It mean more to you than the one to whom you pledged your life? Before you say no, ask yourself this: How many times in the last month have I chosen to spend time at work [or whatever it is in your life], rather than being with my spouse? If the answer is regularly, then you are on your way to weakening or destroying your marriage, rather than saving it; even if, on the surface, everything seems fine.

If you or the one you love has chosen something else over your marriage, there is still hope. Your marriage can be saved! At Love Relationship Headquarters, there are answers. Your marriage not only can be rescued, but it can be a joyful, love-filled ongoing affair, whether you have money or not, that doesn’t need to end. We show you how to mend, keep, and enjoy your relationship with your husband or wife. What will you get in return? The type of happiness that everyone wants.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Do you have marriage problems? You are not alone. 100’s of thousands have used our marriage advice. Save your marriage today, and get separate help for men

You Are Forgiven Ryan

 

When he was introduced to Hailey, Ryan knew that she was the one. She wasn’t as gorgeous as a few he’d known, but that was all right. She was attractive, intelligent, and easy to get along with. She admired and respected him, too.

After they were married, she fulfilled his wishes by presenting him with adorable children. He was a happy man. His desires, for the most part, had been met.

By the time the children were in their teen years, though, Ryan’s mind had begun to wander. Home had become unpleasant in too many ways. His kids were noncompliant; he was experiencing financial woes, and he had no friends to speak of. Hailey and he had grown apart, it seemed, and they quarreled far too often.

Hailey and he had grown apart, it seemed, and they quarreled far too often. He wondered if some of his old girlfriends were still around – and available – and he started trying to unite with them again. He also began flirting with various women at work. After a time, he scored and began an affair.

Someone told on him. It always happens, it seems. Hailey went through all the emotions that characterize the betrayed: horror, devastation, anger, self-pity, blame, fear, even hatred. She told Ryan to get out and never come back. His children rejected him, too.

Ryan left, but in the months that followed, he suffered severely. He wasn’t interested in his lover any longer. He just wanted his family back. He went to a pastor and committed himself spiritually. That helped, but he would drive by his house frequently, tears flowing down his cheeks.

Finally, he began sending notes to Hailey, telling her what a fool he had been. He sent her flowers. He wrote to the children, asking forgiveness.

Finally, he confronted Hailey face to face, fell on his knees and begged her to let him come back home. Hailey said, “No,” at first and then hesitated. He continued to talk and she said she’d think about it.

Weeks went by. Ryan prayed, waiting for her decision. The pastor prayed. One day Ryan received an invitation from Hailey to come for dinner. When he got there, a candlelit dinner and a romantic setting awaited him.

Hailey had arranged to have the children stay at friends’ homes. “Dad and I have to talk about some stuff,” she said.

As Ryan stood staring at the preparations she had made, hope raging in his heart, she held out her arms and he enfolded her in his, tears choking him.

“I forgive you, Ryan,” she said. “Just…please…I couldn’t handle your being unfaithful again.” That night, they made love in a way that they hadn’t felt for years. The next day, Ryan moved back home. A sensible husband never quits treating his wife as a sweetheart.

He does everything he can – on a daily basis – to make her feel loved, cherished and secure. He transforms his sexual desires into lovemaking desires. He never ever considers having an affair or being disloyal in any way. If those thoughts come, he avoids them like poison.

A wise wife puts her husband foremost; children second. He is her king – she his queen – and she does everything she can to preserve that status on both sides. She meets his needs. She helps him do what is right toward her and in his life. She affair- proofs her marriage.

Both of them present a strong, unified, loving system of guidance and discipline for their kids who know, from their parents’ love for each other, that they are secure. Relationships stay strong and laced with love.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Are there problems in your marriage? You are not alone. 100’s of thousands have used our marriage advice. Saving your marriage is what we do best , and get separate help for women

The Repeated Pattern: Marriage – Divorce – Marriage – Divorce – Divorce – Divore

 

Some people feel that if they never live with someone outside of marriage, it’s okay to divorce if their expectations aren’t met and then get married to someone else. Why bother to save a marriage if the going gets hard and, heaven forbid, if I can’t have things my own way? If the second marriage is a bummer, then how about a third – and then a fourth and so on?

It’s kind of like looking for the Fountain of Youth to search for lasting happiness in that way. It isn’t going to be there.

Certain celebrities are notorious because they’ve been married numerous times – like Elizabeth Taylor, a star of the past who was one of the most beautiful women of her time and played in many notable movies. Did she even try to save any of her marriages, even those through whom she had children? Or, if she tried, did her spouses?

We’ll give her this one: At least she got married to the men she fell in love with, she too much of a lady to just live with them. Of course, that sometimes meant she had to snatch them away from their wives. At least that was true in at least one case when she lured singer Eddie Fisher away from his then wife, Debbie Reynolds, another actress.

These days Elizabeth Taylor keeps her love life private, but may have given up the marrying philosophy. She reportedly has been living with a guy for a long time at the time of this writing but now, supposedly, is thinking she’ll take her 8th leap into matrimony.

Hollywood also seems to glorify have women on the side while still married. Larry King, for instance. Still married to Shawn Southwick in his 8th marriage, senior Larry supposedly has been having an affair with his sister-in-law, Shannon Engemann, for the past five years. Similar stories of the rich and famous abound. It’s got to be the rich and famous part of it where he’s concerned, wouldn’t you think? He certainly isn’t getting the women by his good looks. (The latest is that he and his wife have decided to save their marriage – possibly because of their two small children.)

So…are these glittering, wealthy beyond measure super stars happy? Come on. We know better. Truly happily married couples know that these feelings don’t last. So, why aren’t their riches and beautiful partners enough? Why aren’t they joyful continually having one sexual partner after another? The reason is because the human being was created by God to be monogamous. Having sex with someone outside of marriage will always bring turmoil to the soul. Promiscuous sex messes lives up and statistics prove it.

Lasting happiness eludes such a person, celebrity or not. If these types of individuals are happy on earth by some quirk, they won’t be happy after they leave this earth. Everyone has to stand and account for their lives before God. Last time we checked, He made the rules. His rule tells you specifically not to covet your neighbor’s wife. We think that is pretty clear.

Last time we checked, He made the rules. The rule says, keep it inside marriage. To quote an old saying, hitch your wagon to a star – but not a star like those we’ve just talked about. Spiritually they are blind and their sojourn on earth, as wild and appealing as it may seem for the time, is very short. Instead, determine to make your present marriage superb. We show you how to do just that in our books and material at the Love Relationship Headquarters.

Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

All marriages are worth saving, no matter what your marriage problems are Saving your marriage is what we do best , and get separate help for women

She Deserves To Be Treated Like A Princess

 

I’ve told many of guys that they need to do this in order to make their marriages fantastic. When I do, most get this blank look in their eyes, like they’re wondering what in the world I’m talking about. And frankly, most don’t. They’re clueless. What they don’t know is that it takes very little to make a woman feel special, and the benefits to the relationship are so wonderful that most men can’t believe it is so simple.

So what can you do? Here are four things – simple, easy, subtle yet powerful. We know they’ll work.

1. When you go somewhere, whether you are on a date or you are driving to the supermarket, treat her like a gentleman would treat a lady. That means that you open doors for her, at the house, car, or the store. When she goes to sit down, at the kitchen table, or in a restaurant, help her with her chair. When you walk down the street, you walk on the traffic side.

2. Occasionally, for no reason at all, bring her a gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive, it can be simple. Make sure the gift is something that she wants, not something that you want. If you don’t know what she desires, find out.

3. Compliment her. Look for something about the way she looks, how she’s dressed or something that she does that you really like. Tell her how much you admire that specific thing.

4. Listen to her. Men – hear me on this one – this is very, very important. Listening to her means that when you talk to her you look her in the eye. You hear what she is really saying – not the words necessarily – the feeling behind the words.

Simple? Yes and no. Every man on the brink of divorce may have heard those things before. He knew he needed to be doing them – but he didn’t. If you want to save your marriage, start with these four things. If you want to know how to use them in a way that will change your marriage in a matter of weeks, go see our site. People have used our material and saved their marriages for over 37 years.

Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Relationship problems? You are not alone. Save my marriage , and get separate help for men

Keep Quiet And Save Your Marriage

 

This article isn’t about never talking to one another. It is about learning to talk about the right things and not wasting your time on the wrong things. Some spouses simply cannot handle lurid truths about their sweethearts’ past.

Lee and Lila both were virgins until one day they became so passionate on a date that they had sex. Lee and Lila went on to marry different people. Lee felt he had to tell his new wife, Zoe, about what happened with Lila. Zoe was so hurt by his confession that it was all Lee could do to save his marriage.

Many time is it the man who cannot bear to hear about his wife experiences. William had a few sexual encounters when he was in the army, but that was to be expected, wasn’t it? When his wife, Mackenzie, said she’d had a few, too, he was shocked, hurt and filed for divorce. He didn’t even try to save that marriage.

Now, listen to this scenario and you decide if this marriage could have been saved. Karen wouldn’t sleep with Elijah until they said, “I do.” He wasn’t interested in Karen’s past; but she was vitally interested in his. She was persistent and demanded to know the details. She was furious that he had endangered her by his sleeping around that could very well result in STD’s for them both. A year after they said, “I do,” she said, “I don’t,” and left.

One man wrote: How honest, truthful and open should a husband be in relating past pre-marriage experiences?

They turned the ladies’ indiscretions to their advantage until women now are expected by many to give out sexually on a first date or soon after. Shacking up once a guy breathes to a woman, “I love you. Will you marry me?” is commonplace. Although they won a battle, women lost the war.

Here is another typical example – Anna and Luked move into an apartment together as soon as they said “I love you.” He loves me and I love him. That’s all that matters, she told herself, so their living together was not wrong in her estimation.

After a time she excitedly asked, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we married and had a baby?” Neither one of those experiences were in his five year plan. No way was he going to do either. “I have to be free, Anna,” he said. No one owned him, even if he had said that he loved her. Not only could she not save the relationship, she began to see that if he did marry her, she probably wouldn’t be able to save their marriage, either.

Here is the key issue regarding your past. If you want a relationship or marriage to last, it’s best to be open about your sexual conquests or promiscuousness before you get involved if there is any danger at all that sexual disease might have resulted. This is the only reason to offer the information.

Once you are married and have never discussed your past loves; it is probably better to not bring it up. You do not need to lie, but you also do not have to divulge all the details. Don’t be a blabbermouth if there is no danger involved, but answer direct questions truthfully, leaving unsaid the things that would cause unhappiness or fear. Of course, if your silence would bring about a suspicion that would be greater than if the person knew the details, then it’s best to lay it out.

Living with guilt is the reason that people say “give it over to God”. Go to confession. In fact, while you’re there, consider surrendering your life to Him. He’ll help you stay on the right path in the future. That’s the best way of all to save a marriage or relationship.

For those of you who avoided sexual encounters before marriage, you are a whole lot smarter than those who didn’t. Just don’t fall into the trap of promiscuity. Don’t give anyone in your future any reason to question your moral decisions on the past. If you indulged and are cornered so you have to tell all, assuming you are interested in saving your marriage, tell your partner humbly and with a great deal of regret.

Remember that you do not have to find your way alone. We’re here for you to show you the way to strengthen or save your marriage. Spend some time with us at www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com and find some direction along with us.

All marriages are worth saving, no matter what your marriage problems are Marriage help is available, and get separate help for men

Surviving An Affair

 

Hailey hadn’t realized that Ryan had strayed, but she knew something wasn’t right between them. Did he love her anymore? She tried to remember the last time he told her so. Now it seemed he scarcely noticed her except when he wanted sex. She was scared. Really scared. Was she going to lose him?

When she found out about his affair, she went into a rage. He matched her anger and sent it right back at her. Hurtful words were spewed like poison by both parties. “I’m getting a divorce, Mother,” she sobbed over the phone. “Think, Hailey,” her mother said. “Ryan was dead wrong to do what he did, and nothing will ever excuse it. But usually, there are problems that lead up to this that both parties cause. Isn’t there some way you can save your marriage for the children’s sake?”

It was late one evening, several weeks later, when Ryan strode into the house, sank to his knees and asked Hailey’s forgiveness. She blinked in disbelief. “Wh-what about…that…other woman?” she asked, tears starting.

“I’ve been a fool, Honey,” he said. “I want you to see something that a buddy gave me. I never realized I was so wrong.”

Ryan’s friend had given him my (Margaret’s) book, Forever My Love, written to men. He read it, read it again and then, burying his face in his arms, prayed, admitting to God how ridiculous he’d been. Next, he called his lover and stopped the affair. Then he went to Hailey.

At first she didn’t believe him. She didn’t want to believe him. She was afraid to believe him, fearful that his regret was temporary. Not knowing what else to do, she asked if she could read Forever My Love, too. Then she sent for my book A Woman’s Emotional Needs. She realized, as she read it, that there had been lots of mistakes she had made where Ryan’s needs were concerned.

They spent hours and hours talking about everything. Over time, Hailey and Ryan got to the core of what tempted him to cheat and flushed out what they didn’t understand about each other. He did an about face, Hailey made some vital changes, finally reaching the point of forgiving Ryan, truly forgiving him, and they did save their marriage.

Admittedly, one of the most difficult things to pardon is when the person who promised to love you until death do you part betrays you. It cuts to the very core of who you are. That act destroys hard earned trust and loyalty. It just plain ruins everything.

In another case, Anthony suffered betrayal at the hands of two people he loved. His wife had an affair with his brother. It was such a shock to him that he stumbled out of the room, got in his truck, sped onto the freeway and drove for hours. He didn’t come back to the house for several days. By the time he returned, his wife was gone. A note on the table said the kids were staying with their Aunt Betsy – Landon’s wife. She and Landon were leaving for Reno to get divorces.

Anthony’s call to Betsy revealed that she had no idea of what was happening all around them. She thought Landon, who was a trucker with his own vehicle, was on a trip. He was, of course, but not the trip she imagined. She felt an even greater sense of betrayal for not having known he was leaving her.

By the time Anthony contacted us, two marriages had been smashed to bits – with seven children suffering the fallout. Extended family relationships were broken, as well, that probably never would be repaired.

Could the marital carnage have been prevented? Could these marriages have been saved? Very possibly. None of the adult parties involved – Anthony, Ella, Betsy and Landon – had a clue about how to make sure their marriages stayed intact. Because they didn’t understand their roles as husbands and wives, they made foolish mistakes and decisions, their marriages crumbled and their children have major problems.

Don’t let something this devastating happen to your family. Not only can you prevent affairs, but if one has taken place, there are ways to heal and make sure it doesn’t happen again. We here at www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com will guide you in laying the foundation, not only for saving your marriage, but for making it strong and affair proof. V:3

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International speaker and author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Are there problems in your marriage? You are not alone. 100’s of thousands have used our marriage advice. Save your marriage today, and get separate help for women

The Tough Guy Asks, “How Can I Save My Marriage?”

 

Jake was rough, tough, crude and rude; but he was in love with his wife. “She used to have the hots for me, you know?” he said. “I was what you’d call a bad boy and she thought that was cool.”

“Were you really a bad boy?” I asked.

“I got a really good job in construction. After we married, we had a couple of kids and started going to church. We really did the whole “normal family” thing. But then she started acting funny. Like she was embarrassed to be seen with me, sort of. I asked her what’s up and finally she tells me I don’t act right, talk right or treat her right.” You could see the fear and pain written on his face. “I’m afraid she’s gonna’ walk out. I don’t wanta’ lose her. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Can you help me save my marriage?”

“I came from a family that wasn’t no model, nuclear thing. Us kids did our own thing and I was on the street most of the time. You get into wrong company that way, you know? Me and Karen hit it off, though, when she come to a party I was at. She was classy and I fell – hard. We started seeing each other. Her family said she lowered her standards when she hooked up with me. She did, too. So it blew me away when she said she’d marry me.

Wished what? That her frog could become a prince? Exactly. But that was not going to happen. Yet, there was a lot that Jake could do so he could save his marriage. Fortunately, Karen didn’t feel it was necessary to change him completely – to make him like her family. She could accept that he wasn’t educated. There were just some key things that really bothered her.

The man was a willing learner, which was a bit surprising since he wasn’t open to anyone changing him. But he loved his lady and he was desperate to save his marriage, so we worked on his changing himself. We can’t say that Jake is the ultimate gentleman today, but he made changes in many of the places that Karen wanted.

It was the understanding that something’s you can change and something’s you have to learn to live with that helped them. Karen says that she now has much more of a gentleman than she had before. “I am so amazed and proud of what he has done for me,” she says, “he has made me love him even more for his desire to please me.”

Why is being a gentleman important? 1. A gentleman is sexy. Treating a woman like a Lady will woo her faster than any other tactic. 2. Gentlemen do not act like jerks. A jerk doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him. He behaves like a jerk because once a man slips into crass behavior, and he gets used to being low class, it becomes a habit. Their women often lower the bars for their own behavior. Such a couple’s desire to please each other deteriorates into fighting and disrespect. 3. Girls choose men that are like their fathers. Be a good role model for your daughter. If a girl insists that her dates behave like gentlemen, she’ll draw a higher class of man and that may be the ingredient that saves her marriage.

My (Margaret’s) father made very little money and spent his life in blue collar work, because he had very little education. He was a man’s man, but he always was a gentleman in the presence of his family, ladies and others. His behavior is what I came to expect and demand from boyfriends and that is just what I got in a husband. 4. Gentlemen are more successful. People don’t always know why such a man is special. They just know he is.

My husband was a Marine Corps Officer. These men were taught to be very tough but they were expected to be gentlemen with ladies. I know that you, just like me, want a marriage that keeps you safe and secure. Gentlemanliness is a marriage safeguard. We give you practical ways to be a gentleman in our books and save-your-marriage material at www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

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