Over the course of a marriage there will be many problems that will come and go, some more significant than others. Couples with both serious and trivial issues often find themselves doubting their marriage and entertaining the thought of ending the relationship. For those with this problem, there may be ways of saving your marriage.

Divorce rates around the world are very high. Couples often end the relationship for various reasons. Sometimes, the reasons for a split are significant events that simply cannot be overlooked. However, most of the time marriage issues are actually very petty and often stem from boredom or a lack of communication. If you fear that your relationship is headed for divorce, approach your significant other with some ideas that may save the relationship.

It is very important that both parties involved get on the same page about their concerns and their long term goals. Take some special time apart and discuss the issues openly and without anger or fear. Establishing an understanding of the issues that are causing conflict is important, as it will allow you to begin developing ideas to deal with those issues. You just can’t fix a marriage until both people understand what is wrong. Although these conversations can be difficult and embarrassing, they are absolutely necessary.

Two very important traits of a functional marriage is communication and compromise. This is vital to maintaining healthy relationships. Many couples allow anger, fear, or stubbornness to close the lines of communication. This will lead to a stagnant relationship. Once the doors of communication open, you can both swap opinions and ideas that will benefit the relationship. As you begin to talk more freely, you will have to compromise on many things. You can’t win every battle, so for the sake of the marriage, learn to give to your spouse as much as you take.

After communication and long term goals have been established, it will be time to re-ignite that lost spark that often fades during the course of marriage. Approach the relationship like you are just starting to date. Plan fun, stress-free events and romantic dates. Take up a new hobby that both of you can learn together and bond over. Do a bit of self-improvement, exercising regularly and changing your diet. Sometimes, a simple shift in a monotonous routine can help to get the couple back on track.

A marriage can only be saved if both parties are on the same page and wish to accomplish the same goals. This can be difficult and overwhelming for some couples. If you are having trouble getting started, consider seeking professional assistance. Begin working with a marriage counselor who can approach the situation without bias. This is often a great, positive step forward for many couples.

Author: Ken Ross can help you save your relationship. For Saving Your Marriage Advice get his free tips on saving your marriage.

Regrettably most husbands and wives are resolute in staying together even when it is clear that they can no longer stand each other. The truth is that denying your marital problems will not get you anywhere. What do you care about others would say?

Peradventure you have problems with your marriage, go for some relationship advice to solve things, however if this cannot work, then it is vital that you start considering divorce. Unfortunately proper divorce planning for men and women is not always good enough and many are those who suffer because of this.

If you find out that saving your marriage would be a mirage then it is advisable to seek for divorce mediation outside the court. However this is not always possible, so you might have no option but to take legal advice and to tackle divorce in court. In this circumstance, getting a good attorney is important. The attorney should have the required experience in divorce matters without being excessively costly. Planning for this from the beginning is therefore indispensable You surely do not want to engage a university graduate that is inexperienced in divorce cases! There are several things that one can do to plan for divorce. The foremost thing is to make certain that financial support is available for the divorce.

Getting divorced could mean that you have to pay for a new home, child custody, personal upkeeps, and legal fees and so on. If you do not think about such things beforehand then your after divorce might be a nightmare. Another thing that you should plan beforehand is keeping and sorting out all your financial statements. This comprises sorting copies of your house bills and your income tax returns. Being organized before going to court is essential, especially when money is involved. You do not want your wife and wife’s lawyer to accuse you that you are hiding your financial statements. Being disorganized in your account statements may cause your attorney to waste valuable time to gather facts and this may cost you more legal fees and extended divorce proceedings. As the issue of money in divorce is crucial, it is appropriate to get a steady job.

You do not want your employment terminated when you start the divorce war. If your wife is a house wife, then you have more to worry about. In divorce proceedings it is frequently stated that the man remit 50% or more to a “poorer” wife that is not working. If you have a shaky job, then you are taking a huge risk because after the divorce life may not be enjoyable for you. Planning for your property ahead of time is another thing you must do. If divorce is in the air then you must find a safe place for any collections and valuables that you own. You do not want your stamp collections, watch collection or paintings to be auctioned at eBay by your wife! Therefore, is important to have a record of all your property and if needed have them on pictures and videos. In case some assets get missing then you will have enough proof in court to show that they belong to you.

This excellent writer has more articles on Divorce Tips For Men and even on Men And Divorce

Worry can drive a person crazy. It can drive another person crazy. It can deteriorate a marriage and your relationship with your children. Psychology tells us not to worry. Medical doctors tell us not to worry. Nutritionists and other health practitioners tell us not to worry. Worry brings on poor health. It ages us. It robs us of joy. The Book of ultimate knowledge, the Bible, tells us not to worry. Jesus said:

..who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the span of his life? Matthew 6:27 – please remember this!

So your marriage isn’t doing that fantastic? Worry won’t solve a thing. Action will. Go to our site for men and our site for women for material that will demonstrate for you what actions to take.

Another Scripture is very clear:

Be anxious for nothing, but in prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6 and 7

Lean on; trust in; and place your confidence the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him; and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

Lean on; trust in; and be confident in the Lord with all your heart, mind and soul, but do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him; and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn away from evil. It shall be health to your nerves and sinews and marrow, and moistening to your bones. Proverbs 3:5-8 (Amplified version)

We’re here to assist you – in all kinds of ways. Save your marriage. Save your life.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Millions have marriage problems Marriage help is available , and get separate help for men

We dealt with a man recently who blamed his money troubles on his wife. He finally owned up to some of his mistakes. Nevertheless, for each thing he said he fouled up on, he would add, “Yea, but…” and then tell what she did that “caused” him to do what he did – whether it was buying a bigger, better car that he wanted, buying every toy in the world for their kids or doing poorly at his job.

Are you a “Yea, but…” person? Listen to yourself. Do you rationalize what you do or did when something goes wrong? Or do you take responsibility? How often this week have you blamed someone else or something else for anything that went wrong?

Once when George and I were interviewed on a national television show, a famous male vocalist who sang on the same program and who had made a number of albums, walked up to us with his wife. They were a striking looking couple – both good-looking and personable. She worked as a coordinator of whatever was going to air, so we had seen her dashing about the stage

“We would like you to keep this hush-hush,” he said in a low tone of voice. We assured him that we had no trouble keeping confidences. “Our marriage is in trouble,” he went on. “Can you come to our house tonight and talk with us?”

We did but we wished we hadn’t. That evening was one of the most horrible we had ever experienced. Neither of them would let the other talk. In fact, they wouldn’t let us talk. She was too busy yelling at him. He was too busy yelling back. Their faces were red with fury. Accusations flew back and forth. She blamed him. He blamed her. This went on until 2:00 in the morning.

George or I both tried to intervene, but it was as if we weren’t there. We even tried to out-yell them at one point to get their attention, but that didn’t work either.

I wish I could tell you that we broke through. We didn’t. Finally, we headed for the door. They were still making the walls vibrate as we stepped out into the night air. I’m not even sure they saw us leave. We just hoped one of them wouldn’t cause trouble. Neither could see his or her own faults, weaknesses and selfishness. They were blame people… “Yea, but…” people who excused themselves but not each other. They were toxic to one another.

No matter your age, no matter your accomplishments in life, if you look for someone else to blame when….you can’t find your keys…you missed an appointment…you’re in financial difficulties…you don’t have satisfying sex…you can’t get a date…your children are difficult…the meat got burned…whatever it is…understand this: Such behavior is proof that you have a huge hunk of immaturity boiling around inside of you.

“Yea, but I wasn’t the one who…” Woops! There you go again. If you want to be a really grown-up person, look waaaay back to the beginning of any problem you have and view it with a critical eye so you can be honest about your part in it.

And if you want to be a really, really mature person, even if you decide that you had no fault at all in a given matter, refuse to point the finger or accuse. Just say, “Hey, but for the grace of God, I might have done the same thing.” Or, “We all make mistakes. I’ve made plenty in my lifetime.” Forgive and try to forget.

“Yea but…” people hurt their marriages. In our books and material for men, and our books and material for women, we get to the root cause of problems, of bad feelings, of temptations to end a marriage rather than save it, and a whole lot more. Once you understand what’s behind it all, then you are in a position to do the right thing. You will heal your life and your marriage.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Marriage help is available , and get separate help for women

Several years ago, a pair of mourning doves “built” a nest on a pillar that juts up to the second story of our house to help hold the roof up. Doves are infamous for sloppy nest building and these two were no exception. They laid their eggs on the few twigs they placed on the narrow shelf of the pillar – but down they came – Plop! – on the cement. They were too tiny to fry for breakfast, so we cleaned up the mess, only to have it happen again.

At that time, my husband, George, went to work in the garage, making a flat semi-circle out of wood and encircled it with a little “fence” about an inch high. He then stretched out a long ladder, climbed up and nailed his handiwork to the ledge. A day later, here came the dove pair to check it out. “Wow, look,” they cooed. “A patio and everything!”

We watched, since it was just outside our bedroom window, as they began placing grass and other bits of this and that in their new home. The lady of the house then laid her eggs and together they hatched and raised three babies -interesting to watch. After the little ones were safely on to a new life, the parents raised another batch – and then another. This continued on for four years…with a total number of about 16 babies. Then they skipped two years, but this season, they’re back! At least someone is back.

What strikes me as magnificent about doves is their utter devotion to each other, to their home and the welfare of their babies. “Our” dove father is distinguishable by his larger size and larger dark spots on his wings (although some male and female doves look amazingly alike). What a dad! He takes equal turns with Mama, not only with the tiresome job of sitting on the eggs but, after they’re hatched, he also alternates with her in feeding them.

Not surprisingly, this feathered husband leaves his wife safely on the nest during the night with the eggs or the hatchlings, but appears again first thing in the morning to give her a needed break.

Although “experts” on doves agree and disagree on some details, we’ve reached a few conclusions of our own. Our doves do seem devoted to each other until death do them part. We’ve never seen them squabble about anything, even when they’re eating the cracked corn, sunflower seeds and millet that they find at our backyard feeders when one of them isn’t on duty at the nest. They don’t break each other’s hearts unless one is accidentally killed.

We sigh as we think of human couples with whom we have dealt who aren’t as committed to each other as these birds. They aren’t as dedicated to their relationship – nor as considerate, loving, watchful and determined to make a go of founding a home and rearing their children with the same heartfelt loyalty .

Instead, too many are like the spoiled baby jays we watch. Although almost as large as their parents, they flutter and squawk, prancing about on the lawn with their mouths wide open, insisting that Mom and Dad keep feeding them, cater to them and treat them like the big babies they are, even though they are perfectly capable of feeding themselves.

Not only do some couples exhibit similar childish behavior with their own Moms and Dads, but they act very much the same way with each other. One or the other – or both – just never quite grow up. With them it’s: Me first, and if I like what you do, I just might be nice to you – at least part of the time.

If you feel your spouse should change in some way, be open and frank about it – but before you do, take a long, hard, honest look at yourself. Are you mature, thoughtful, loving, unselfish – and committed to your marriage? Or have you, or your spouse, desecrated the basic tenets of a close relationship so many times that your marriage is in need of saving? Or does it exhibit too much sadness so your marriage is in need of strengthening and improvement?

We address all of these issues and much, much more in our material for men and material for women. We sincerely want you and your spouse to be happy, in love and a tower of strength for your children. Join hands with us and together we can do just that.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Saving your marriage is what we do best , and get separate help for women

Are you a controlling personality? Well, congratulations. You’ve been gifted with leadership traits. Keep in mind, though, that there are those who lead wisely, those who are mediocre n their leadership and some who are so infatuated with their need to control that they are downright ornery, or bad or evil. The latter have used their gift of being leaders in the wrong way.

Men and women who are natural leaders are in every business, government and family. We all are influenced, by them in governing bodies, but especially in the family that is, essentially the center of our lives. Those within the family unit who have controlling natures would serve the family best if they didn’t misuse those abilities.

Children need a measure of control throughout their childhood and teenage years. Parents need to be in control and call the shots. As a child grows and matures, though, he is expanding his own abilities in the process of becoming an adult. The control that is shown over him/her by the parents also should be a process, so that the “letting go” is gradual, giving a little more independence to the child, bit by bit, to keep pace with his maturing process. That way he/she will, in time, come to the point of being able to make good decisions without the parents overseeing everything. If she/he starts making decisions that are immoral or harmful, though, as she nears adulthood, parents need to step in decisively and hard and do what is necessary to put a stop to it.

The marriage relationship is different altogether. Husbands and wives should not try to control each other. There is an order that should be set up, yes, with the husband as head of the family, for God ordained that. However, head of the family does not mean, as far as his wife is concerned, that the man has a right to bully her, dictate, lay down the law, ignore her, order her around, or do anything that does not show her honor. Husbands… honor your wife…” we are told in the Bible. Honor is a strong word.

However, if you are being controlled by your wife and it is hurting you and the family unit, take a look at our material to men so you can learn how to turn things around. If you are confused about the headship issue, we’ve dealt with it extensively in my books to men, Forever My Love and Keep Love Exciting & Lasting.

The wife is her husband’s partner by divine appointment. If she’s the natural leader and thus the strongest personality of the two, she still shouldn’t step into her husband’s shoes, so to speak. If she would have a peaceful, happy home and children who are not confused about their sexuality, she’ll allow her husband to fulfill his God given role as the one who makes the final decision if there is disagreement over an issue. She’ll respect him and his decisions in such cases even if she is not in accord with them. She’ll praise him and hold him up as a role model for the children. A woman still can maintain her independence that way, but at the same time, she’ll be assuring her husband’s love and admiration of her.

She’ll praise him and hold him up as a role model for the children. A woman still can maintain her independence that way, but at the same time, she’ll be assuring her husband’s love and admiration of her. See why I have made those statements by reading my books written for women, Love Me Always and A Woman’s Emotional Needs.

If you are a woman who is being controlled by your husband to the point where you feel smothered or a captive to his whims, there is no need to file for divorce. Learn what to do in our material for women and ensure your husbands reads my books written for him.

Here’s a big What If? What if your husband or your wife is moving into an area that is immoral or harmful to his/her body, your marriage or the family unit. Then, by all means, you need to talk, get counsel, set your foot down and determine to stop it whether it’s drugs, pornography, an affair, out of control anger, abuse, etc.

Who is boss is, as the old saying goes, a bone of contention in many families and has caused numerous breakups. Don’t let it happen to you. Stop the hurt that’s breaking your heart. Be loving partners, each focused on what you do best, tapping into each other’s knowledge so you can form a powerful whole that will give your children a sense of security and a feeling that all is right with their world.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. We’ll show you how to save your marriage , and get separate help for women

“Does God consider every marriage as one that is meant to be?” we have been asked. If God actually chose our partners for us, we could say,” Possibly,” but He is not a dictator who rules unquestionably. We operate with a free will which from time to time interferes with what is best for us. We make decisions; other people make decisions that influence us; conditions make decisions for us. Sometimes those decisions are good. Sometimes not.

People who think they married the incorrect person often are remembering an old flame from high school, college or singles years – maybe even an ex-spouse. Memories distorted by time can be very deceiving.

Christopher was sure that if only he could hook up again with his college sweetheart, Amber, he would be happy. He found Amber on the internet and walked out of his marriage. She walked out of hers. Unfortunately, he discovered that nothing was the same as he remembered. He begged his wife to take him back. She didn’t.

Anthony didn’t cheat on his wife but she left him anyway. He said to me, “I’m a church going man. I believe the Bible. And the Bible states that God will grant us the desires of our hearts. He hasn’t given me my desires. My wife filed for divorce and my kids are acting up. I can’t pay my bills and my car needs fixing.”

Anthony was talking about Psalm 37:4. What he looked over was the first part of that verse…the condition that was necessary before he could get the promise fulfilled. The entire verse says, Delight yourself also in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

The Bible is full of promises to improve our lives; but linked with most of those promises are instructions and commands. If we ignore them, we suffer the consequences.

After we delved into it, it was clear that Anthony hadn’t delighted himself in the Lord by doing what he was told in the Scriptures 1) He hadn’t been the kind of husband that he needed to be in order to keep his wife in love with him; 2) He had an explosive temper that she and their children had endured more times than any of them could remember; 3) They had bought things they couldn’t afford, including the expensive car he was now driving and were deeply in debt.

It’s too late to save Anthony’s marriage because his wife already has remarried, but hopefully he’ll take all of that Bible verse to heart and change his ways.

If your marriage isn’t all it should be, see if your life is lined up with God’s plan for you. We have to do our part in order to claim God’s promises. That’s why we were given intelligence, common sense and knowledge of the difference between right and wrong.

We’re here to help you move in the right direction. Whether you have a bum marriage or just one that needs improving and you would like it to become a delightful match, follow the suggestions given in our books and material for men and our books and material for women. You’ll see some good things come to pass.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Marriage help is available , and get separate help for women

Because most men are intrinsically strong and tough, emotionally if not physically, women often take that for granted and expect them to be invincible. Intrinsically? Yes. Although a boy can be influenced by words such as, “Boys don’t cry,” if he’s normal and healthy, he’ll discover as he matures, that the don’t-cry syndrome actually is part of his very nature.

Yes, he may cry on the inside, but unless he’s been pampered and sweet-talked as a child so that he is less than the world’s idea of manly, he won’t want his tears to show except in extreme conditions.

No one faults a man for crying visible tears when he loses a child, watches a buddy die in battle during war or similar tragedies. No one expects the tears to stay invisible when a guy’s wife dies or if she divorces him or his life’s work disintegrates, it’s the frequent display of tears that are far more female than male

It all ties in with the Biblical perspective of the man who is to be the woman’s protector and provider – an edict of God from the time of Eden, the first home of the human race. That want to protect and provide is partly responsible for little boys being aggressive. It’s what drives them to play with guns. For that reason, among others, little boys need to think that they are tough. Women’s open display of feelings partially results from an emotional need that they inherited at the same time men were ordained to be their protectors.

If that sounds basic, it is. If it sounds improbable, it’s because the discourse needs more clarification than my one article can provide. I’ve expanded on the subject and presented my proofs in my books, two of which are Keep Love Exciting and Lasting (for men) and Love Me Always (for women).

Since men are strong and protective, some women believe that they should be resilient enough to take every setback in stride and without complaining, including their wives’ verbal badgering or criticism. A guy is to be Super-Super Man and never show that he has vulnerabilities; or that he hurts; or that he can be crushed. In such a woman’s mind, he doesn’t need someone to understand and be sympathetic except once in a far flung while. He and his needs are often shoved in the corner.

Women who make this error are surprised if their men seek out other female companionship. Through their tears they sob, “Can my marriage be saved?” Madison asked: What causes us women to put our childrens needs before our husbands’? We know we ought to do things for our men that we don’t. So true. It’s also true that she may not know that her man has needs that only she, his loved woman, can provide.

Yet, milady is struggling herself. She has many responsibilities tugging at her. There is so much to DO that when husband appears on the scene, there just isn’t TIME for him! Somehow she feels he should be adult enough to realize it. To complicate it further, both mothers and fathers have a strong desire to protect, help and immerse themselves in their offspring and as a result, neglect each other.

The opposite of the woman who takes her husband’s resilience for granted is the female who insists that her man cry visible tears or find his “inner child,” and tries to form him into a female like creature. She does the same with her male children. She takes away their toy guns and may even insist that they play with dolls…and not always male dolls. It’s no wonder some grow up confused about their sexuality.

Be more considerate and understanding of your husband, Pretty Wife, if you would have a happy man and a marriage that is concrete. Shower him with loving attention and praise. At the same time, give him room to be a man. Male. Strong, Masculine. Rough. Then he won’t mind, when the time comes that he is truly hurting, when the tiger becomes a kitten, if you hold him, sympathize with him, listen to him and pump him up with encouragement.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Love Relationship Headquarters

Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Millions have marriage problems Marriage help is available , and get separate help for women

Robert Frost, who struggled for years before his poetry was published and he became famous, is quoted as saying: “I’m against a homogenized society because I want the cream to rise.” Frost taught poetry at Dartmouth college. This white haired, bearded man of confidence who exuded brilliance in his field impressed many a student.

He took his analogy from what used to be common knowledge before people purchased homogenized milk in grocery stores. The richness of a cow’s milk in the ordinary barnyard of old was calculated by how much thick cream rose to the top of the milk after it came from the cow’s bag and set for awhile. Once the cream rose, it was scraped off to be used in many, marvelous ways. It was a delicacy, the best of the best.

Frost, then, who wanted the cream of society to rise to the top was referring to excellence in human accomplishment – the person who says no to be ordinary – who works to accomplish something special in his or her life.

Your husband may not have found his niche in life as yet. Or he may have. Either way, he is very, very special and is meant to become more than he is at the present time. Build him up and help him become the “cream” that rises. In our women’s material, we show you how.

Meanwhile, support him daily with such phrases as:. “You have what it takes.” “I know you can do it.” “So it didn’t work out this time. Keep trying. It will happen just at the right moment.” I have faith in you.” And keep assuring him: “I didn’t marry you because of what I thought you could be someday. I married you because I love you. I’ll keep loving you, no matter what happens.” “Let’s take a glance at what you do best so you can place your efforts there.”

Meet his requirements, just as you want him to meet yours. There is more to that guy than you ever dreamed.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Millions have marriage problems Marriage help is available , and get separate help for women

She was bright, intelligent and very angered at her husband, very angry.

I asked her why she was upset. She said, “Well, every time I try to share about a problem, or I’m talking about something that happened in my day that I’m aggravated about, he interrupts constantly by jumping in and asking me questions about the whole thing. Why can’t he just listen to me?”

I told her that the reason for this was that men at heart are fixers. And the reason that they are fixers is because they want to be their wives’ heroes. They want to be the guy that comes in on the white horse. They long to be the knight in shining armor, the one that their wife looks to, to make everything better. As a result, when a man hears about a problem or situation that his wife is frustrated about, or he sees her crying, or angry, he needs to fix things. For him, this is not the time to listen to a good story, or sympathize. This is the time to do battle with the forces of evil that are hurting the one that he loves!

So I told her, if you want to talk with your husband so that he doesn’t want to fix everything, then you need to do just one easy thing. Before you share something about your day or your life, you can tell him right up front, “Sweetheart, I don’t need you to fix this problem for me. There’s nothing that you can do. All I want you to do is listen.”

The first couple times that you do this, he will have this weird look on his face – after all, if you don’t want something fixed, why talk about it? But, it you insist that all you want him to do is just listen to you, he will begin to get the picture. Once he’s relieved of the load or responsibility of having to fix your problem, then he’ll be able to relax, listen to what you have to say and you’ll have a great conversation, without his interrupting.

Ladies, this is another key step if you want to save your marriage and have great communication. You can find more vital insights into your man’s mind at our site for women, www.LoveRelationshipHeadquarters.com/women.html.

Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. We’ll show you how to save your marriage , and get separate help for men